I was at a seminar the other day, and something dawned on me.

Ever notice that you are your own worst enemy? Seriously, the last 4 months have flown by, and life hasn’t been better in a long long time, well ever.

Yet over the last 3 weeks there have been numerous times where, I was sitting on my couch pretending it was a dream and making myself wrong for not living how I now know FOR SURE is possible.

I have just started the 3rd and last phase of a course I am doing with Landmark Education, called The Curriculum for Living.

This education teaches you to confront, head on, ways of being, that you didn’t even know existed. It puts into context why we are the way we are. We are all wired the same way; we just have different interpretations of our experiences.

I really believe the principles of this education are the answer to WORLD PEACE.

The first 2 courses were pretty easy for me, made sense, applied it and it worked, I was even arrogant enough to think that I must just be lucky, because it was all so easy, and I saw how hard some people made it.

Then the last 3 weeks happened and I have been thinking about who I am being in fact confronted by who I still very much am, and then so quickly feeling like I had lost everything I had learnt.

So, as part of the Landmark Forum, you get a course (10 classes) complimentary, they allocate you to a course. I got a course called, Integrity – the bottom line. (Which, for the record, was perfect for me LOL)

The premise of this course is fascinating, we talk about how people confuse morality with integrity ...

Integrity is your word, end of story!

So during the 7th class of 10 this last Wednesday, something shifted for me.
Before I went to class, as I said I felt like I was slipping back, because if you are your word, then I wasn’t anything but someone who says a lot but does nothing.
With such simple tasks i.e. eat healthy, join the gym, stay focused at work.

I was failing miserably.

I had a whole lot of reasons and excuses too! My boss has been rather difficult lately, no time for me, which was frustrating me, I am doing more paperwork than I agreed to and I don’t enjoy it, and it’s a waste of their money to pay me what they do to do it. Eating healthy, I find it such a mission to organise myself in that regard, never enough time. Staying focused at work, I NEVER get up when I should and am always late, so chasing my tail before I even start, and then at the end of the day i lose focus and don’t work back.

Anyway, what I realised on Wednesday, is that the above paragraph is just a whole bunch of excuses as to why I haven’t done anything about committing to who I want to be.

I also realised that the excuses and stories don’t change what happened, what happened is I didn’t do what i said i would.

That simple.

So I changed my attitude....and had a good look at myself LOL.

The only reason I was finding fault in my boss, was because I was disappointed in myself for not staying on top of my work, I was also feeling the pressure about this project I have committed to (which I will elaborate on in another blog), which involves my work community, it’s a bit hard to get support or inspire people to help for something when you’re not performing. As for the functionality of my role, the only way to change what I do is to get on top of it, and then discuss what I want to change with my role.

Going grocery shopping this weekend, and joining the gym near my work on Monday, I know how much more fabulous I think, feel and act when I am healthy, a good workout will have me in bed earlier too ....:)

Giving my word that next week there will be no snooze button pushed when the alarm goes off. I plan to be in bed by 10pm every week night, not between 11:30pm and 1am.
Doing my budget tomorrow, so that I can factor in a few things to look forward to that I am passionate about as well as have a firm plan and date to be out of debt and to be honest, just function like an adult and be responsible for my spending, dang it LOL!

That simple.

The most exciting part of all of this is, once I take responsibility for me, and my word, then life will flow.

Then I can start to make the real change, for this planet, because it needs it, and I know I can contribute and make this world a better place in areas I am passionate about.

And what I was doing these last weeks, was a waste of valuable time! But that’s OK because you can’t change the past, clean up the mess where required, live in the NOW and create something new ...and ....STICK TO IT!

Watch this space .....